I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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