my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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