i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
