I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize