I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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