Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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