So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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