Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
