So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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