I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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