You really coming over, don't trick.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
