I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
