She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
