i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
