so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
