I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
