You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
