just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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