and you said cock pushups were impossible
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
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Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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