He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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