So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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