Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
