If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
