How'd it feel making her break her religion?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this will be a night to untag.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
