even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
