I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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