He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...so i touched it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
