Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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