Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize