I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
