Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
