seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
