dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
