just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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