i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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