her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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