I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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