I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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