Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we're so committed to being not committed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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