The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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