And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
