Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
