youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize