But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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