windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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