She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
