seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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