Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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