Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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