Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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