You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
