White coat. Heels.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
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you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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