i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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