There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
