you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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