well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
