now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
