Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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