I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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